you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize