she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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