My nipple is on Facebook.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I forget how to act sober
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