Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
