one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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