The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
