Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out