I wannas sexs uuuuu
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.