its not stalking. its research.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
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The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
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And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize