i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
