I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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