Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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