Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
