Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize