im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
