apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize