I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
