btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
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