i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize