I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My life is pants optional.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize