No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize