It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize