ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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