Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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