fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.