just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and she was petting her beer can
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!