We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
