I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
where are you?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment