I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket