: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye