You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........