Me. At least after what I've been through.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!