Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
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As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.