dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people