Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
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every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.