i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time