nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize