idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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