great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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