I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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