Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just come out here and I will go home with you...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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