I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
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he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
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Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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