That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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