That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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