Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
