The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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