I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
