my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
jump out the window naked night went bad
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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