I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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