At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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