Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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