i just google imaged poop.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
