I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
