Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize