So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
