Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.