He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?