Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
