i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
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You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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